Here I’m sailing on a raft made of stolen planks and oars.
The ocean thumps,
the sun squeezes sweat out my pores,
and I am searching for you.
You are my compass, my star at Cosmic north.
A drawn memory of toasting to better days,
you are.
Ahead, with one running leg,
I stumble to the helm,
call out to my men,
“She is a pretty one, boys,
and will fetch a high prize.”
The cheers are filtered
by the brim of my hat
and that crawing parrot on my shoulder,
whispering your taste,
tracing the shape of your face on my cheek
and I wish,
oh I wish, that you were boxed,
left at my door,
locked for only me.
But I wait and will continue
for when the catch is as rich in substance
as you,
lost beside the ocean
waiting to be dug up and claimed,
I would cross all seven seas
to meet you on that beach,
give away my stolen planks,
and let the bird fly free.
well put,
powerful imagery.
Thanks, Jingle. I appreciate the feedback.
[…] Hikki Chan:https://daddywasastreetcorner.wordpress.com/2010/10/22/on-hanging-up-the-hooks/ […]
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Happy Thursday!
That is an awesome experience! …never fished quite like that but here in Oklahoma we have something that gets quite a bit of attention called ‘noodling’ . It is where you stick your hand down a catfish hole and let the fish swallow it and pull him out! (I ain’t doing it though). Great poem man…I have dreams similar to this poem and it gives me a smile!
Thanks for the encouragement.
Noodling sounds like a horrible idea bound to wind someone up in the ER… alas, if there were youtube videos I’d probably watch them. I guess that makes me a sucker for all things entertainment.
Fantastic piece, I had so many visions in my head over this and it was quite the experience. Great work, thanks for sharing!
Thanks for the kind words, LeiffyV. I’m grateful people are taking more out of this poem than I had intended… makes me want to play with words a little more often.
I loved the images that this poem conjured.
It’s a piece that could be interpreted in so many different ways ranging from love to fishing (as 2zpoint noted)
I really enjoyed reading this!
Peace to you,
(My entry)
Thanks, notjeffery. It was originally intended as a love poem but I like the fishing angle too – unintended win. Thanks for the encouragement and I’ll be checking your poem out next!
Words sounding well.. Awesome experience.. I loved it totally..
An Ode to Friendship
Happy Rally
–Someone Is Special–
Thanks to you! This rally experience is a great way to start off my new blog… a real pleasure to have you comment.
whether it’s romance or fishing, this is truly a beautiful piece! well done for the rally!
A Tranquil Soul
Thank you, PinkLady. I really appreciate that you stopped by to visit (and a rally winner at that). Good luck this week ^_^
Seems like you’re new. That’s good, start out strong!
As for your poem, there are plenty of good analogies. It goes well with the phrase “there are many fish in the sea.”
If you’re interested here’s my entry: Panda Wolf – Hey Rain, how are you feeling?
There certainly are many fish in the sea, Panda Wolf. I think I, like the captain in the poem, may have found the catch of a lifetime – prize enough to retire from pirating. Thank you for the feedback.
This is very romantic, and very thought provoking. You have some excellent imagery, and a very smooth flowing piece. I really like it.
Thank you so much for the comment!! I am always self conscious of the flow of my written poetry. Performance is one thing but having others read my words is a whole other (scarier) beast. Thanks for stopping by.
She´s a pretty one! Let the bird fly… it made me sad and yet I smiled! Thanks for sharing
Thanks for stopping by, Lu Ann. I’m glad that you enjoyed the poem 😀
This is one of my fav pieces that I have read, by far. I am drawn to your word choices here, “the sun squeezes the sweat out my pores” and “you are my compass” Absolutely LOVE that compass line. I like the way you think in pictures.
Here is my post for week 31
Well thank you, Britta, I really appreciate that you enjoyed my writing. I hope you’ll keep visiting and that I’m able to follow up with something else you’ll feel drawn to. I’m off to check your poem out as I write this!!
I really enjoyed the overarching metaphor in the poem it was awesome. thanks keep it up
Thanks so much, Luis y Domonique. I hope you will continue to visit my and the many other poets’ blogs. It’s a pleasure to read your encouragements.
Oh.. and I also enjoy the name of your blog!!
A bit of Engrish never hurt anyone, right? ^_^
Enjoyed it all
Well done.
Thank you for your kind words, Dr. Goyal. I hope you’ll stop by again to read some more!
Vivid imagery here–so full of emotion. I enjoyed this very much–thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the kind comment, Bodhirose. It was written for someone special in my life but I’m pleased to learn that you and others have caught some of the message. ^_^
sweet and imaginative wordplay. not since orlando bloom and johnny depp has piracy sounded so romantic. 🙂
Thank you for the kind words, Siubhan. I hope you’ll continue visiting the site and enjoying my poetry. As an aside, I can’t look at Orlando Bloom and think of him as anything beside an elf… and that’s when the romance breaks down for me lol
really enjoyed this and the imagery brought forth from your words,,,very nice piece
Thanks you so much for coming to read my poem, Words4Afriend. I am very happy that you enjoyed it and hope you’ll choose to come visit again ^_^
A really nice piece Hikki-chan, some of the images caught my imagination…
Thanks for the encouragement, Kick Out The Jams. I promise you that as the site (and my repertoire of poems) grows I will have many more ideas to tickle your mind with. Please choose to stop by and visit again ^_^
Images were forming in my head as I read your work of words.. It is like the waiting, the desire, the ‘helpless’ the longing in love, more of like believing and trusting with a shade of greyness.. at least that is how it is in my eyes.. 🙂 glad you are 3rd on my list to stop by and comment.. I am glad I came by your beautiful poetry.. 🙂
Oh wow, Krislin! Incredibly kind words and so many thoughts that I was able to offer you. I hope you’ll choose to come by and read more in the future. I’d be honored to be able to convey half as many things in my next poem as you took from this, my first. 😀
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xx
[…] Hikki Chan:https://daddywasastreetcorner.wordpress.com/2010/10/21/on-hanging-up-the-hooks/ […]