On Hanging Up The Hooks

Here I’m sailing on a raft made of stolen planks and oars.
The ocean thumps,
the sun squeezes sweat out my pores,
and I am searching for you.
You are my compass, my star at Cosmic north.
A drawn memory of toasting to better days,
you are.
Ahead, with one running leg,
I stumble to the helm,
call out to my men,
“She is a pretty one, boys,
and will fetch a high prize.”

The cheers are filtered
by the brim of my hat
and that crawing parrot on my shoulder,
whispering your taste,
tracing the shape of your face on my cheek
and I wish,
oh I wish, that you were boxed,
left at my door,
locked for only me.

But I wait and will continue
for when the catch is as rich in substance
as you,
lost beside the ocean
waiting to be dug up and claimed,
I would cross all seven seas
to meet you on that beach,
give away my stolen planks,
and let the bird fly free.

Advertisements

40 comments on “On Hanging Up The Hooks

  1. Jingle says:

    well put,
    powerful imagery.

  2. hikkiichan says:

    Thanks, Jingle. I appreciate the feedback.

  3. Jingle says:

    Thank you for the participation,
    first time participant is encouraged to visit and comment for week 31 participant poets,

    they return favors and hope that you enjoy some fun.
    Happy Thursday!

  4. 2zpoint says:

    That is an awesome experience! …never fished quite like that but here in Oklahoma we have something that gets quite a bit of attention called ‘noodling’ . It is where you stick your hand down a catfish hole and let the fish swallow it and pull him out! (I ain’t doing it though). Great poem man…I have dreams similar to this poem and it gives me a smile!

    • Hikkii-chan says:

      Thanks for the encouragement.

      Noodling sounds like a horrible idea bound to wind someone up in the ER… alas, if there were youtube videos I’d probably watch them. I guess that makes me a sucker for all things entertainment.

  5. LeiffyV says:

    Fantastic piece, I had so many visions in my head over this and it was quite the experience. Great work, thanks for sharing!

    • Hikkii-chan says:

      Thanks for the kind words, LeiffyV. I’m grateful people are taking more out of this poem than I had intended… makes me want to play with words a little more often.

  6. notjeffery says:

    I loved the images that this poem conjured.
    It’s a piece that could be interpreted in so many different ways ranging from love to fishing (as 2zpoint noted)
    I really enjoyed reading this!

    Peace to you,
    http://notjeffery1.wordpress.com/2010/07/30/bleed/
    (My entry)

    • Hikkii-chan says:

      Thanks, notjeffery. It was originally intended as a love poem but I like the fishing angle too – unintended win. Thanks for the encouragement and I’ll be checking your poem out next!

  7. Words sounding well.. Awesome experience.. I loved it totally..

    An Ode to Friendship

    Happy Rally

    –Someone Is Special–

  8. PinkLady says:

    whether it’s romance or fishing, this is truly a beautiful piece! well done for the rally!

    A Tranquil Soul

  9. Panda Wolf says:

    Seems like you’re new. That’s good, start out strong!

    As for your poem, there are plenty of good analogies. It goes well with the phrase “there are many fish in the sea.”

    If you’re interested here’s my entry: Panda Wolf – Hey Rain, how are you feeling?

    • Hikkii-chan says:

      There certainly are many fish in the sea, Panda Wolf. I think I, like the captain in the poem, may have found the catch of a lifetime – prize enough to retire from pirating. Thank you for the feedback.

  10. mstevensson says:

    This is very romantic, and very thought provoking. You have some excellent imagery, and a very smooth flowing piece. I really like it.

    • Hikkii-chan says:

      Thank you so much for the comment!! I am always self conscious of the flow of my written poetry. Performance is one thing but having others read my words is a whole other (scarier) beast. Thanks for stopping by.

  11. Lu Ann says:

    She´s a pretty one! Let the bird fly… it made me sad and yet I smiled! Thanks for sharing

  12. missbrittab says:

    This is one of my fav pieces that I have read, by far. I am drawn to your word choices here, “the sun squeezes the sweat out my pores” and “you are my compass” Absolutely LOVE that compass line. I like the way you think in pictures.

    Here is my post for week 31
    http://missbrittab.wordpress.com/2010/10/20/come-to-hell-with-me/

    • Hikkii-chan says:

      Well thank you, Britta, I really appreciate that you enjoyed my writing. I hope you’ll keep visiting and that I’m able to follow up with something else you’ll feel drawn to. I’m off to check your poem out as I write this!!

  13. I really enjoyed the overarching metaphor in the poem it was awesome. thanks keep it up

  14. missbrittab says:

    Oh.. and I also enjoy the name of your blog!!

  15. Enjoyed it all
    Well done.

  16. Bodhirose says:

    Vivid imagery here–so full of emotion. I enjoyed this very much–thanks for sharing.

    • Hikkii-chan says:

      Thank you for the kind comment, Bodhirose. It was written for someone special in my life but I’m pleased to learn that you and others have caught some of the message. ^_^

  17. siubhan says:

    sweet and imaginative wordplay. not since orlando bloom and johnny depp has piracy sounded so romantic. 🙂

    • Hikkii-chan says:

      Thank you for the kind words, Siubhan. I hope you’ll continue visiting the site and enjoying my poetry. As an aside, I can’t look at Orlando Bloom and think of him as anything beside an elf… and that’s when the romance breaks down for me lol

  18. Words4Afriend says:

    really enjoyed this and the imagery brought forth from your words,,,very nice piece

  19. Kick Out The Jams says:

    A really nice piece Hikki-chan, some of the images caught my imagination…

    • Hikkii-chan says:

      Thanks for the encouragement, Kick Out The Jams. I promise you that as the site (and my repertoire of poems) grows I will have many more ideas to tickle your mind with. Please choose to stop by and visit again ^_^

  20. Images were forming in my head as I read your work of words.. It is like the waiting, the desire, the ‘helpless’ the longing in love, more of like believing and trusting with a shade of greyness.. at least that is how it is in my eyes.. 🙂 glad you are 3rd on my list to stop by and comment.. I am glad I came by your beautiful poetry.. 🙂

    • Hikkii-chan says:

      Oh wow, Krislin! Incredibly kind words and so many thoughts that I was able to offer you. I hope you’ll choose to come by and read more in the future. I’d be honored to be able to convey half as many things in my next poem as you took from this, my first. 😀

  21. Jingle says:

    hope you well,
    thanks for the participation..

    if there are poets who are here and new to you, please pay them a visit,
    we try not to discourage poets who offer comments or encouragement to other poets.
    I value your participation.

    xx

Speak Up, Son!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s